Monday, October 17, 2011

My fire and brimstone sermon

How dare you, call yourself Christians when you know of how sinful you are. The fiery gates of hell will open you with open arms if you don't look to change your ways. The God of all the universe will forgive you but you first must admitt to your sins, repent and never attempt them again! Only then can you hope to be saved from the dark pits of Satans realm. For if not, your sin will consume you to places you cannot even imagin exist. Follow me brothers, repent, tell the Lord your God how sorry you are and beg him for forgiveness of your horrible, wretched deeds. Live with me in paradise.

3 comments:

  1. It's scary to hear some of things that the preachers would actually say. This sounds very much like one that would be said.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This seems very much like what a real preacher would say in the Puritan communities. Nice work!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jake, you might as well been a Puritan preacher. Nice job !

    ReplyDelete